Category Archives: circus balloons!

My awards for awarding the awardable and unawardable alike

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How many times have you said “I’ll do it when I get around to it!”  Well, here you are.  Your very own Round Tuit. And the only thing you have to do to claim it is answer a few questions, either here in the comments or somewhere else and link to it.

5 things you said you’d do when you got a roundtuit
5 things from your bucket list
5 true but little known facts about yourself
5 favorites, of your interpretation

Have fun!

And yet another award…this one is for awarding those “special” people.  You know…the ones you want to slap, but you’re above all that.

The Story Of The Hertz Donut

A snotty rich man came to a car dealership, picking and arguing and generally dismissing every car the harried salesman could show him.  Finally, having had enough, the salesman sighed, theatrically, and shook his head.  ”I don’t know…only thing I can think of is the new Hertz Donut…but you wouldn’t be interested in that. Here, let’s go look at this one.”

The rich man was intrigued, and as he walked behind the salesman, he stated “Enough!  I want to see the Hertz Donut!”  The salesman stopped, and looked back with a surprised look.  ”You do?  It’s pretty expensive…”  ”I can afford it…I can afford anything I want!” sniffed the rich man.  ”Now show me, or I’ll buy this miserable place just so I can fire you.”

The salesman turned away so that the man couldn’t see the gleam in his eyes, and nodded.  ”Alright then…I guess I’ll have to show you.  We keep it around back…”  He began walking around the building, the rich man close on his heels.  They approached a small locked shed, which the salesman unlocked and gestured the rich man to come forward, to look.

As he moved forward, the salesman moved back, making sure he was out of sight of the security camera’s…and as the rich man was peering into the dark shed, the salesman reared back and delivered a strong kick right at the rich mans richly trousered rear end.  He tumbled forward, scrambled up with an outraged look on his face.  ”What in the hell was that for?”

The salesman just grinned, standing there, hands in his pocket, as he said… “Hurts, don’t it?”

So, yeah.  To claim this award there are a few questions to answer.  You can either answer them here in the comments or somewhere else and link to it.

5 attitudes you hate/dislike
5 pet peeves
5 annoying quirks
5 people/types of people you’d like to Gibbs-slap*
( *pop on the back of the head with an open hand )

 

Have fun, and happy awarding!

 

KC

Feeling accomplished and frustrated at the same time.

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Well, I’ve finally made the first dent in the process of getting “Bones of Ash, Heart of Glass” turned into an e-book…I found quite a few sites that offer free software to make/publish your own e-book.  And since I’ve decided that it should be free, in order to reach more people, and thus do more toward our ultimate goal of  raising awareness of/for abuse victims of all ages and sexes, using a free service to publish it makes sense to me.

I believe I’ll be ready within the week to start collecting submissions by email, after I write up submission guidelines and rules.  I need to make a cover image…unfortunately, I can’t draw, paint or otherwise create visually.  I can describe perfectly what I want it to look like…but that’s not helpful.  ;)

 

Also, I visited/read around 400 posts today, as things had built up from my having to skip several days because of my hands cramping.  Still not sure what that was about, but since it seems to be over for now, not worrying about it. ;)

 

And got another 1,000 words done on Blue and Grey…that makes 4,500 and some, now.  Officially the most I’ve written on any one project, ever.  *laughs* I’m considering, if it looks like I can get it done under 7,000, making it a short story instead.  It all depends on where the story goes from here.

 

The frustration comes from the overly emotional way I’ve been reacting to people’s posts/creations on the subject of abuse.  I suppose it’s mostly due to my not even knowing that this was National Abuse Awareness Month or whatever.  When I started working on “Bones”, it was a singular project, one I could feel good about imagining into life…and now it’s turned into just another attempt to cash in on the month (and bring awareness, as well, mind you) like so many others.  It’s not, really…none of them are…but my frustration at having my personal idea taken away once again…*grumbles*

It’s a perpetual problem for me.  It feels like I must be some sort of unconscious predictor of trends…every time I get a look or style or hobby or music or book series or obscure-but-awesome movie…it suddenly, usually within weeks, bursts into a “phenomenon” and everyone just assumes I’m following the trend.  Meh and Bleah.

A for-instance…my pink-and-black look.  I started it because I wanted something to go with/match my ears, and the colors looked good together, and on me.  A week or so later, when I went to the Mall, it’d become the new “fad” with the younger/teen set.  *sighs*  Oh, well, at least it makes it easy to shop for!  ;)

 

Heh…yay ego.  I’ll get over it.  Just wanted to say, as that’s most likely what’s been causing all the delay on working on the book.

 

Thanks for listening, and if you have any advice or questions, don’t hesitate to comment!

 

KC

Overwhelmed and underworked, part two (the first week)

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The week is not quite over, but with payday and dr. appointments looming, the next two days are likely to see me missing, so here’s how it’s gone so far.

I decided to make my morning hours from eight to noon, which is proving…interesting, as it’s been years since I had a schedule at all, let alone such an early one!  But I’m sticking to it, which is making me go to sleep earlier, thus giving me better “sleep hygiene” as my respiratory therapist says.  Stopping strictly at noon is hard, the tendency to check email that one last time, or put out one last post…yeah.   I’m working on it.  So far I haven’t gone more than a half hour over, and I always remind myself that I can get back to it in 5 hours.

My night schedule is five to nine thirty, the half hour being a dinner break.  So far I’m managing to keep away till then, using the hours between to write in my books or do a page or two of the lyrics workbooks.  Yes, it’s still on the computer, but I’m keeping a strict “no email, no way, no how” policy in effect.

That’s basically it for Mon. Wed. and Fri.  Tuesday and Thursday are -supposed- to be no computer at all days.  :(  Not so much so far…Wednesday being the one example.  I tried to contain myself to surfing things connected with my other chores/work…craft sites, learning how to write lyrics sites, etc.  But that kept leading me around to blogs I wanted to follow, and then to how-to-blog sites, then…yeah, you get the picture.  I’m going to try harder next week!  I’d say I’ll go sit in the library and write…but they have free, good wi-fi!  *rolls eyes*

Wish me luck, y’all.  So far, so…mediocre!

Blue and Grey #2

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The rest was almost laughable in its anticlimax…at least, someday she’d laugh about it. For now, she simply relished the relative ease of making the careful stretch and scrabble to the next few rungs, then slipping sinously up onto the roof to look down on the milling, furious pack below. Sighing softly, she called down toward the street, couching her voice in as casual and concise a way as she could, considering her condition. Here, boys…it’s over. Just go home now, like nice doggies…and maybe next time we’ll find time to play. This had the expected effect of stirring them to frenzies of scrabbling and leaping after her, and she simply shook her head and turned to head home over the rooftops. The path was clear from here, and with the pack occupied below, as safe as any she’d find on street level.

 

It was a very tired and dirty Blue that slipped in through the gate at the back of The Mall that morning…not that anyone there would’ve recognized her in her current condition.  She padded slowly down the cool floor with its tile pattern of blue and green waves, hearing the soft stirrings of morning in the stores as she passed.  Head hanging low, she slipped under the curtain and into her current home, tossing a soft smile up at the ever-smiling head of the stores mascot/angel, above.  Careful to find her way to the spot that she’d prepped, where she hoped that she wouldn’t be spotted, behind a pile of boxes in the back storeroom, she almost immediately collapsed on the cool cement floor, and fell asleep licking her wounds…

The sound of The Mall opening for business woke her several hours later, and she stretched, wincing as her elbows hit the sharp edges of the boxes, and her knee came unstuck from the floor, reluctantly. Sighing, she reached for the handful of clothes she’d left here before heading out the night before, and slipped them on, taking the time to examine herself from head to toe as she did. Apart from the long scrape on her side, and the cut on her knee, and the usual wicked headache, she seemed to have once more slipped through without taking any serious injury. How long this state of grace would last was unknown and unknowable, but for now she’d settle for being grateful it existed, instead of whining about it.

Tying her hair back in a loose knot, she made her way down the hall and out into the main store, carefully not meeting the accusing eyes of her “boss”, and the resigned pair belonging to her best friend. They curled up with each other in the soft corner, and she felt the eyes follow her out the door. Jamie felt that she was hiding something from her, and when Jamie was upset, Spike felt it as well, even though he had no real clue what. Blue sighed, already seeing the loss of yet another “family” and home in her near future.

 

 

 

Overwhelmed and underworked

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“I am a drinker with writing problems.”

-Brendan Behan

 

That made me laugh out loud.  It showed up in the random quotes about writing that WordPress loves to shove at me…but this time, it stuck.  Not so much the drinker part, but the part about writing  being the stronger addiction.  I’ve been “a writer” for about ten years now.  In my own mind writing poems wasn’t true writing…writing is books, and books are stories.  So I’ve got 4(?) books barely written, less than short story length still, and as much as I love them, I’m not sure I’ll finish them.  It’s not that I don’t want to…see the addiction comment above…it’s just that I don’t know -how- to write.  So far I’ve cobbled together scraps and bits of dialogue that slip into my head, chapters of rambling ridiculousness,  and bits and pieces that’d make a better comic than book.  If I could draw at all.  *laughs*

 

And now, putting my poems out there, and receiving the advice and commentary on them, I have a reason to neglect my poor books even more.  I mean, I don’t have -time- to write.  I have all this blogging to do.  Right?

 

Wrong.  I know what I need to do, it’s just pulling together the discipline it takes to do it.  I have 4 areas of “work” right now, and at least 12 hours a day to do them in.  First and foremost is the poems that keep sleeting through my brain, and getting the old ones collected and put out.  Second is learning to write lyrics, a possibly lucrative-ish outlet for my poetic talents.  Third is my writing, and/or learning -how- to write and then applying those lessons.  Fourth is crafting/jewelry making/clay work etc.  For the last few weeks, it’s been nothing but poems and occasionally a bit of prose, and answering, reading, following and liking…which is threatening to become more addictive than anything else I do.  ;)

 

So my goal for this coming week is to sort out 8 hours every other day for writing…poems, blogs, books, whatever…and concentrate on my learning exercises and craft making the other days.  Hardest part for me is remembering to -only- do 8 hours.  I know I can do it, I just have to start.  And now that I’ve put this out here for everyone to see…hopefully it’ll help me keep to it!  ;)

Blue and Grey #1

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I think I’m ready to start working on my book again, got my confidence up and my discipline as well..I hope.  ;p

Either way, I’m going to start posting at least page or possible chapter twice a week, and I welcome all comments, positive or negative.  :)

Blue curled her lip as one paw splashed through an unidentified liquid spilling out of a drain, but kept running. The sound of the pack was all too close behind, their mingled yips and yaps echoing off the alleyway bricks, and bouncing around in her already sore head like barbed wire ping-pong balls.

She took the next turn a bit too close, shaving time and a bit of fur off as she did. Almost there, she thought. Just a bit more, and I can put my head down, even if I have to do it on the floor. The thought of the cold concrete floor of the back room was soothing to her cold, wet, cut and scraped up paws, and she managed to pull a burst of energy from somewhere, and double her speed for a few moments.

It wore off quickly though,and she was back to the limping scamper that she’d kept up for blocks now, and the pack…wait…why did they sound like they were coming from in front? She listened carefully, slowing her steps, hoping against all hope that it was only an effect of the echo that made the yipping cries come from -both- directions at once.

The supposition failed, however, when she reached the corner of the main street leading to The Mall…and heard them more clearly. Damn, they must’ve circled around. -Now- what? I can’t get home without getting caught between! Half-panicked, half-exhausted, she looked around frantically, and grinned tiredly as she noticed the ladder half a floor above her head. Yes! Saved!

Her first leap was fruitless, only managing to scrape her fur against the brick, leaving a smear of what she -hoped- was mud, but was more likely blood. Too tired to feel the pain, she positioned herself a bit more carefully, and took another leap…this time, managing to grasp the bottom rung of the ladder with the claws of one sore paw. Scrambling frantically, she pulled herself up onto the rusted metal, and lay there for a moment, prostrate with relief.

Ok, now for the fun part…carefully she stood, stretching her lean body up toward the next rung, ignoring the calls of the pack as they raced closer from both sides. Just a bit…more…there! Got it. She made the pull and rest maneuver one more time, before the first of the packs outrunners, a scruffy little terrier, ran into the alley. Here, here, here!! The cat, it’s here! She sighed, and watched it as it scrabbled frantically at the brick below the ladder, mad little eyes sparkling in its filthy face and spittle spraying everywhere. Dogs…so the dignity

Aside

This my first try at a new weekly exercise toy I’m going to try to keep going.  It’s called Free Write Friday, from Kellie Elmore over at Magic in the Backyard. http://kellieelmore.com/free-write-friday  She gives the image, and we do a stream of consciousness thing about it or how it makes us feel.  Of course, my stream of consciousness is more like a river of unconsciousness, but n’mind that.  ;p

So, Kellie, this…thing…is for you.  All 6 pages worth. And I might just have to do two. The pic is still sitting there, pushing on my poem nerve.  *laughs*

 

Standing in the middle of the wide sunlit space that was her new studio, restless motion of feet, she looked around. the perfect light streamed through the perfect windows, carefully tinted and set to sense the light change and change their tints to match. The perfect work space. All the best ergonomic seats and desks and tables, the equipment any other artist would be willing to kill…well, at least maim seriously…to own. In the far corner, the perfect tiny little loft. With the perfectly arranged shiny objects on the shelves, and the sheets turned down on the neutral colored futon as crisp as any hotel bed. The little kitchen. Brand new espresso machine, the recessed ceiling lights in the floor of the loft sliding liquidly across its matte steel finish. The little washroom. Surfaces gleaming, green glass sink like a deep bowl the color ofantique glass soda bottles. And everywhere, the perfect floor. Warm wood that glowed in the perfect light like amber, polished to such a shine that when she walked across, she had to remember not to look down. Down, under her feet, where the shining lacquer sent her dull, warped pictures of herself, looking like just one more mosquito trapped in the resin of time. This time, though, she purposely lowered her gaze to the floor, seeking something in the reflection. Something to tell her, show her, why she felt so dead inside.
In the reflection, something seemed to pool around her restless feet, some…things. They rustled and slid and she reflexively looked to her actual stocking clad feet, expecting to see…something. Or things. But there was nothing but bare amber floor…and the trapped face of her reflection, so far below. Drowning in a sea of time.
A soft sound broke the silence…as ofa small object hitting the floor. Startled, she turned her eyes to where her stockinged feet shuffled. Something was there. Reaching down, she picked it up. A puzzle piece? A bit of blue, bluer than the sky could dream of. A hint of orange on one edge that practically dripped with organic energy. Where? As she studied the piece, another soft sound came. She looked down. Yes. Another puzzle piece. And as she watched, and wondered, more and more and yet more, until there was a growing pile beneath her feet, slipping and sliding, colors shifting chaotically in impossible to follow patterns. Her patterns. Her colors, her vision. She could feel it, now…feel her creativity, her muse, bleeding from her in ever increasing amounts. Dropping from her body in a steady stream now, the pile was almost to her ankles. Feeling suddenly hollow, and strangely dizzy, she folded herself into her favorite sitting position, puzzle pieces sliding away and toward her.
Her hand hurt. She looked at it, and was surprised to see it clenched so tightly, so intensely, that her knuckles almost glowed white with effort. Carefully, she reached out and peeled her fingers away from their curl, and nodded, looking at the blue and orange smear that was all that remained of the first piece. As she watched, that faded as well, but she could feel it, somehow. Feel it slide through her bones, her veins running wet with brilliant color! Quickly, she gathered an armload of pieces into her lap, laughing like a child as they seemed to almost scamper into her grasp. Shuffling through them, pieces rustling and sliding, she lifted a double cupped handful, sniffing their dry pulpy papery smell before letting them pour back into the pile like colorful water in a fountain. Again and again she reached,inhaled, poured…and every time, the pile seemed less. Even the pile on the floor seemed to gradually shrink, bright flashes of color marring the perfect floor for a moment before fading before her eyes…and behind them.
One particularly active piece danced and scrawled out a long trail of color that twinkled neon bright words. Quickly, she read them to herself, before they too disappeared. Laughing again. Sitting on the perfect floor, in the perfect workspace, in the perfect studio, laughing like a loon. The final handful of pieces in her hands, she stood, and twirled around in a careless dance. One, two, three times she whirled, her old colorful gypsy skirt spinning beautifully. Looking down, she watched the other dance as well, and laugh. No longer trapped, she danced with all the freedom in her, with all the glory that was muse and inspiration and so much more. Nuzzling her face against the slowly thinning pile in her cupped hands, she smiled, then laughed…and threw up her hands, bright colors falling down around her, fading before they hit the floor.
She only stopped when the spinning inside her had fallen to a calm wonder, and folded herself gracefully back down to the floor. Skirt pooled around her in a semi-conscious tribute, she sat, and thought. And finally, a sly smile trickled to her lips…

He dismissed the driver as if talking to a dog, and the man, used to his well paying job, simply nodded and drove away. Grumbling to himself, he started the walk up the perfectly landscaped meandering pathway that led to the studio. If she’d just use her phone, occasionally, he wouldn’t have to make these visits. Here, at least, he knew where she should be.
Approaching the studio, he cocked his head, listening to an unusual sound coming from the side of the studio. Moving closer, he recognized it as the hiss-roar of a blow torch, and automatically shielded his eyes. Peering at the suited welder from under the shelter of his arm, he cleared his throat…and immediately recognized the action as useless. Wanting to get the welders attention, he looked at the ground beneath his feet for a rock or twig to throw, but the lawn, perfectly landscaped as it was, seemed to mock him with its perfect empty green. Throwing up his hands in defeat, he turned to the studio. At least it’d be cool in there.
He smiled smugly as he remembered the first time he had shown her the studio. She had been overwhelmed, tried to refuse it, but he had insisted. She was one of their highest selling artists, and she deserved a space worthy of her talents. Not some 7 floor walk-up in the city, where her neighbors were likely hookers or thieves, or worse. He had even moved her things out of the apartment…at least, the things that were worth keeping. That had been two weeks ago. He was anxious to see the beautiful new art his artist had surely created in that time.
He slipped into the cool of the warehouse sized space, looked out across the sea of perfect…amber…and blue? And green? And…what was that color? Did that even exist? Dazed, he drifted across the paint spattered/coated/smeared floorboards, headed for one of the chairs in the workspace. But…where were they? All that sat at the work table was an old battered bar stool, its pleather and foam seat long ago ripped off, and the wood spattered with constellations of paint. Confused, he looked around for the chairs, finally finding them shoved unceremoniously in a corner.
Dragging one out, he sat down heavily, running his fingers through his perfectly styled hair as he tried to think. What could have happened? Why… Then he sat up straight, a look of comprehension on his face. The welder! It must’ve been the welder! Maybe he was an old boyfriend, come to ask for money…and maybe he’d forced her to let him move in! Or worse…his face was grim as he thought, and he moved the comfortable chair on its well-oiled rollers, over to the wall of perfectly shaded windows,where he had the best view of the welder, outside.
Watching, warily, wanting to see the face of his enemy. Finally, the roar hiss of the torch faded to a hiss, then to silence, and the welder put one gloved hand to “his” mask, pulling it up and over…long red curls spilling out, perfect cream-and-freckles face filthy with oil and paint and soot…and the happiest grin he’d ever seen, on her or any other soul.

Free Write Fridays, first story.

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“His mouth filled with an aching taste of blue. His eyes were eggs of unstable crystal, vibrating with a frequency whose name was rain and the sound of trains, suddenly sprouting a humming forest of hair-fine glass spines. The spines split, bisected, split again, exponential growth under the dome of the Tessier-Ashpool ice. The roof of his mouth cleaved painlessly, admitting rootlets that whipped around his tongue, hungry for the taste of blue, to feed the crystal forests of his eyes, forests that pressed against the green dome, pressed and were hindered, and spread, growing down, filling the universe of T-A, down into the waiting, hapless suburbs of the city that was the mind of Tessier-Ashpool S.A. And he was remembering an ancient story, a king placing coins on a chessboard, doubling the amount at each square . . . Exponential .”

William F. Gibson.  Neuromancer.  
Arguably the first true “cyberpunk” novel.  Let’s think about that a while.

 

Cyberpunk.  

A dystopian future , not post-apocalyptic, just…grown.  Over time.  

Giant corporations whose slaves…I mean personnel…may spend their entire lives literally within the company, and never count themselves confined.  From company sponsored nursery to company sponsored senior care, generation after generation of ants, in bright steel hives.  

The original concept of the Matrix.  The  underworld of the cyberpunk universe, populated by the looming structures of the corps, strictly limited “AI”, and various “government” leftovers, such as the military and the police.

ICE.  Intrusion Countermeasure Electronics.  The digital assassins and bodyguards of the corps, their eternal enemy the “cowboys” who ride their decks into and across that virtual range, rustling information to sell and risking burn-out, destruction of the meat body as well as the sim, every time.  

The Biz.  The real world underworld, the gritty underpinnings of cyberpunk society, home of the luckless and the lost, alongside the rustlers and hustlers, the pimps and pets.  Gangs springing up like weeds from the cracked concrete and rusted metal of the slums.

 

A cold world…some would even say heartless…but in Gibson’s hands, it turns into a crystal of sparkling light and dark. Rainbow impressions seen in the scum on a puddle of unknown origins in a forgotten alley, and darkness crawling beneath the skin and within the bone of those who think of themselves as clean and bright.

 

A poet and a romantic, a semiotic genius, Gibson’s vision unfolds like a conjurers trick, showing us endless vistas…and tiny dark alleys…and people, endless people.  People murderous, insane, scheming, living, breathing people.  Gibson -is- cyberpunk, and I will always enjoy visiting his world.

 

(Also, unlike me, he can write.  Without scattering clichés around like chicken feed.  >^< )

Is this a poem?