Feeling accomplished and frustrated at the same time.

Well, I’ve finally made the first dent in the process of getting “Bones of Ash, Heart of Glass” turned into an e-book…I found quite a few sites that offer free software to make/publish your own e-book.  And since I’ve decided that it should be free, in order to reach more people, and thus do more toward our ultimate goal of  raising awareness of/for abuse victims of all ages and sexes, using a free service to publish it makes sense to me.

I believe I’ll be ready within the week to start collecting submissions by email, after I write up submission guidelines and rules.  I need to make a cover image…unfortunately, I can’t draw, paint or otherwise create visually.  I can describe perfectly what I want it to look like…but that’s not helpful.  ;)

 

Also, I visited/read around 400 posts today, as things had built up from my having to skip several days because of my hands cramping.  Still not sure what that was about, but since it seems to be over for now, not worrying about it.

 

And got another 1,000 words done on Blue and Grey…that makes 4,500 and some, now.  Officially the most I’ve written on any one project, ever.  *laughs* I’m considering, if it looks like I can get it done under 7,000, making it a short story instead.  It all depends on where the story goes from here.

 

The frustration comes from the overly emotional way I’ve been reacting to people’s posts/creations on the subject of abuse.  I suppose it’s mostly due to my not even knowing that this was National Abuse Awareness Month or whatever.  When I started working on “Bones”, it was a singular project, one I could feel good about imagining into life…and now it’s turned into just another attempt to cash in on the month (and bring awareness, as well, mind you) like so many others.  It’s not, really…none of them are…but my frustration at having my personal idea taken away once again…*grumbles*

It’s a perpetual problem for me.  It feels like I must be some sort of unconscious predictor of trends…every time I get a look or style or hobby or music or book series or obscure-but-awesome movie…it suddenly, usually within weeks, bursts into a “phenomenon” and everyone just assumes I’m following the trend.  Meh and Bleah.

A for-instance…my pink-and-black look.  I started it because I wanted something to go with/match my ears, and the colors looked good together, and on me.  A week or so later, when I went to the Mall, it’d become the new “fad” with the younger/teen set.  *sighs*  Oh, well, at least it makes it easy to shop for!  ;)

 

Heh…yay ego.  I’ll get over it.  Just wanted to say, as that’s most likely what’s been causing all the delay on working on the book.

 

Thanks for listening, and if you have any advice or questions, don’t hesitate to comment!

 

KC

Blue and Grey 3

The Mall was bustling, now that noon was almost here…runners tramped back and forth between stores, their overflowing backpacks and hip-nets glinting with hidden possibilities. Sifters perched before their mountains of plunder, quick hands flying as they sorted out the trash from the treasure…handing the trash to the crafters, for a final sorting and possible rebuilding, and the treasure to the sales crew, setting up their spaces down the center court. Smells and sounds drifted like smoke above the tiled floor, and Blue hurried down toward her spot trying not to pay too much attention to either.

Passing banks of collected aroma, she wove her way between them with only a quick glance to scout out possibilities…the Gap crew seemed to’ve picked up some coffee somewhere, or at least something with a passable imitation of its smell…the Hotties had their usual day olds, and what looked like a pile of excrement but was most likely whatever topping they’d concocted today. Blue’s sensitive nose twitched, and caught the scents of cinnamon, brown sugar, and some other spice, as she hurried past.

Hey, Blue…the voice was soft and hoarse at the same time, and the small sifter that stepped out of the shadow of a column and into her path was a study in contradictions as well. His face was slow and expressionless, but his hands and eyes twitched rapidly, almost in unison, enough to make the light of the tiny hand-rolled he sucked on look like a laser-toy. Hey…just wanted t’say…better not let Big Rob catch y’all letting that cat in here, y’know? I mean, far as I’m concerned, cats gotta have shelter just like the rest of us…but you know how he is.

She carefully controlled her voice as she tilted her head at him, a fake confused expression on her face. Cat? Billy-G, what -are- you talking about? We ain’t got no cat. You think Jamie and Spike’d let a dirty ol’animal get inta their precious stuff? I -don’t- think. She chuckled, dismissingly…

Uh-huh. Whatever…just wanted t’say. He turned away, the tiny point of light inscribing whorls and spins of light in the shadowy areas between the columns. Just sayin…geez. His voice trailed off as he slipped back to his pile…and Blue carefully didn’t let the shaking start until she was safely out of his sight and headed down toward her own pile.

Sev looked up with a hassled look on his face as she approached, nodding to the little runner at his side. Ok, ok, I got it…tell Spike we’re gonna be on time, no matter what -some- people think… He bit his lip in a habitual gesture as the kid took off past Blue, and hollered after him. And -grab- something on the way back…you think we live on charity? Then he turned his scowling eyes on Blue, and shook his head. And you…you ready to do some sales this time, or you gonna pass out like last time? I haveta take over for you -one- more time…

Blue shook her head, confidently. I’m on it, Sev…really. What’ve we got today? Anything good? She moved forward toward the right hand pile, going gracefully to her knees to hover her hand over the contents…not -quite- daring to touch until the sifter’d given permission. But even from back here she could see that her group had done their usual good job…the glint of shiny plastics and sturdy metals could be seen through the grime, and even the bundled cloth looked like it held surprises of the positive kind.

Blue and Grey #2

The rest was almost laughable in its anticlimax…at least, someday she’d laugh about it. For now, she simply relished the relative ease of making the careful stretch and scrabble to the next few rungs, then slipping sinously up onto the roof to look down on the milling, furious pack below. Sighing softly, she called down toward the street, couching her voice in as casual and concise a way as she could, considering her condition. Here, boys…it’s over. Just go home now, like nice doggies…and maybe next time we’ll find time to play. This had the expected effect of stirring them to frenzies of scrabbling and leaping after her, and she simply shook her head and turned to head home over the rooftops. The path was clear from here, and with the pack occupied below, as safe as any she’d find on street level.

 

It was a very tired and dirty Blue that slipped in through the gate at the back of The Mall that morning…not that anyone there would’ve recognized her in her current condition.  She padded slowly down the cool floor with its tile pattern of blue and green waves, hearing the soft stirrings of morning in the stores as she passed.  Head hanging low, she slipped under the curtain and into her current home, tossing a soft smile up at the ever-smiling head of the stores mascot/angel, above.  Careful to find her way to the spot that she’d prepped, where she hoped that she wouldn’t be spotted, behind a pile of boxes in the back storeroom, she almost immediately collapsed on the cool cement floor, and fell asleep licking her wounds…

The sound of The Mall opening for business woke her several hours later, and she stretched, wincing as her elbows hit the sharp edges of the boxes, and her knee came unstuck from the floor, reluctantly. Sighing, she reached for the handful of clothes she’d left here before heading out the night before, and slipped them on, taking the time to examine herself from head to toe as she did. Apart from the long scrape on her side, and the cut on her knee, and the usual wicked headache, she seemed to have once more slipped through without taking any serious injury. How long this state of grace would last was unknown and unknowable, but for now she’d settle for being grateful it existed, instead of whining about it.

Tying her hair back in a loose knot, she made her way down the hall and out into the main store, carefully not meeting the accusing eyes of her “boss”, and the resigned pair belonging to her best friend. They curled up with each other in the soft corner, and she felt the eyes follow her out the door. Jamie felt that she was hiding something from her, and when Jamie was upset, Spike felt it as well, even though he had no real clue what. Blue sighed, already seeing the loss of yet another “family” and home in her near future.

 

 

 

Blue and Grey #1

I think I’m ready to start working on my book again, got my confidence up and my discipline as well..I hope.  ;p

Either way, I’m going to start posting at least page or possible chapter twice a week, and I welcome all comments, positive or negative.  :)

Blue curled her lip as one paw splashed through an unidentified liquid spilling out of a drain, but kept running. The sound of the pack was all too close behind, their mingled yips and yaps echoing off the alleyway bricks, and bouncing around in her already sore head like barbed wire ping-pong balls.

She took the next turn a bit too close, shaving time and a bit of fur off as she did. Almost there, she thought. Just a bit more, and I can put my head down, even if I have to do it on the floor. The thought of the cold concrete floor of the back room was soothing to her cold, wet, cut and scraped up paws, and she managed to pull a burst of energy from somewhere, and double her speed for a few moments.

It wore off quickly though,and she was back to the limping scamper that she’d kept up for blocks now, and the pack…wait…why did they sound like they were coming from in front? She listened carefully, slowing her steps, hoping against all hope that it was only an effect of the echo that made the yipping cries come from -both- directions at once.

The supposition failed, however, when she reached the corner of the main street leading to The Mall…and heard them more clearly. Damn, they must’ve circled around. -Now- what? I can’t get home without getting caught between! Half-panicked, half-exhausted, she looked around frantically, and grinned tiredly as she noticed the ladder half a floor above her head. Yes! Saved!

Her first leap was fruitless, only managing to scrape her fur against the brick, leaving a smear of what she -hoped- was mud, but was more likely blood. Too tired to feel the pain, she positioned herself a bit more carefully, and took another leap…this time, managing to grasp the bottom rung of the ladder with the claws of one sore paw. Scrambling frantically, she pulled herself up onto the rusted metal, and lay there for a moment, prostrate with relief.

Ok, now for the fun part…carefully she stood, stretching her lean body up toward the next rung, ignoring the calls of the pack as they raced closer from both sides. Just a bit…more…there! Got it. She made the pull and rest maneuver one more time, before the first of the packs outrunners, a scruffy little terrier, ran into the alley. Here, here, here!! The cat, it’s here! She sighed, and watched it as it scrabbled frantically at the brick below the ladder, mad little eyes sparkling in its filthy face and spittle spraying everywhere. Dogs…so the dignity